define irony

why is it that whenever i decide to give up, declare an ultimatum that i will stop looking for someone, a new person pops up?

why???? why do you do this??

because then i'd feel obliged. that maybe this new person is being sent to me for a reason. so i go and entertain the idea, that maybe, possibly, potentially, it could work.

i get my hopes up, wary, holding back expectations but thrilled at the same time.

most of the time, it fails big time, with lots of drama.

after one drama, a new story, sometimes, stories, open up.

but you know that these are the type of stories that doesn't have an ending. well, it does, but not the kind that ends well :/

yet you still try, and see, if maybe, it will have a different ending...

percolate

clearly, I've underestimated your level of assholey-ness.

Good job.

I just really happen to bet on the wrong people, no?

No effin fail. Every. Single. Time.

I shouldn't play poker, or any game that deal with intuition and sound judgment on whether to go all in because I will definitely go broke.

Why do I make such bad judgments and assessment on people?!

Putanginang benefit of the doubt na yan. Always gets me in trouble.

read.

well, that was well received. thanks for the silence and non-acknowledgment.

and i thought it was well-written. well-thought of at least.

i just love it. just really affirms how unimportant i am that i don't even merit a reply.

thanks. you really lived up to being an ass as i suggested.

Hello

The first time we "officially" met was early this year. I don't remember the exact date. I was at the usual hangout spot so often those days, it feels like any other day. I was with my friends, you were always at the other table with everyone else.

It was one of those crazy, drunken nights. I don't recall how it came to be. All I remember was, we were shaking hands, and you telling me, "you can let go now," because apparently I wasn't removing my hand. Or maybe you weren't letting my hand go. Then you continued, "okay na, you already had me at hello." I jokingly replied, "hi!" and we were just laughing, while still holding hands. Then things became hazy again after that. I think I had some more drinks, then eventually found my way home.

I tweeted about it when I got home, but deleted it the next day.

It took a couple more days or weeks before we started talking and hanging out.

I just thought its funny, because it seems that you were the one who had me at hello.

i'm sorry i'm not sorry that...

i will never be the dainty flower, damsel-in-distress type of girl. years of being alone has taught me that if i want something done, i have to do it myself. i blame you guys for that :P its not by choice that i've gotten independent. who doesn't want someone picking them up, accompanying them to places, trying out something new with someone? there's just no one to ask. so rather than not having the chance to do anything, i had to suck it up and overcome my shyness, my fears. given the chance, i'd always choose to do things with someone. as long as that someone wants to do things with me. i'd gladly do things you like too, if you just ask me.

i will never be fashion conscious. i dress up when i feel like it. i dress down when i want to be comfy. i choose clothes not because they're the latest styles, or in 'season' but because it flatters my body. i choose basics as well as 'in' clothes but make sure that i can still wear even when they're not in season anymore. i dress up for the occasion. if i'm going to the mall, then i'd wear something casual and comfy. i mean, it IS the mall. if i'm having a dinner/night out, then of course i'll dress up. the same with make-up. i want you to see me when i'm at my ugliest, next-door normal and drop-dead gorgeous because that just means that i'm comfortable with you.

i will never be brand-conscious. i can never understand how someone can pay thousands for a pair of shoes or a bag. its just a piece of leather, albeit they use the 'best' leather, but that's also relative. and yes, i know, its not about the brand per se but the image it projects - success in life, you're rich and can afford luxuries. whatever. i work in advertising so i know all about brands. but i just think of the trips i can take or the restaurants i can try out with that one bag. but, sabi nga nila, sari-sariling luho lang yan. walang basagan ng trip. if you want to give me a gift, an airline ticket to anywhere, domestic, international, is your best bet for eternal gratification from me :P

i'm not filthy rich nor do i know the who's who of high society. i have a lot of acquaintances, a couple of good friends. i know they're not just 'good time' friends because i can count on them when the going gets tough. they may not have the right last names, but they have the best first names. if you have friends in high places, i can still small talk and hold my own conversation. i'm sure they're also all very nice, but just don't ask me to be best friends with them right away.

i'm not sosyal. i'm so cowboy, its almost embarassing. don't get me wrong. i still appreciate a five star resort or a fancy schmancy restaurant every so often. but i don't mind a clean b&b or guesthouse in the middle of nowhere. i like finding hole-in-the-wall places to eat in. i like it that i'm adaptable to whatever situation. you can take me anywhere and we'll have a blast. its not really the place per se, but its the company. and the good times.

i don't have perfect smooth long hair and flawless white skin but i don't really mind. you won't find me hiding under a beach umbrella or slathering on sunblock or other products. rather, i'll soak up as much of the sun as i can. i will never be fair-skinned because i love the sun too much. i don't mind if i will be forever tan. i even take it against myself if i get so much as a shade lighter. it means i haven't been getting any sun, and i've been hiding out indoors. a big no-no. if you want to take me out, take me out of town, on road trips, or just out out. anywhere where i can get some sun.

i'm sorry i'm just me. an average girl, with simple wants who enjoys the simple pleasures in life like coffee breaks, sunsets, desserts, road trips. i'm really very easy to please. i am so low maintenance you may even forget about me. i don't mind doing things on my own, but i'd love it if you'd do them with me. i may act tough, but really, all i'm looking for is someone to take charge for a change.